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Post by donkeytoo on Mar 19, 2013 15:03:10 GMT
Is Aunty RT there? I have a real problem. It started yesterday at dinner when Abi asked me if I wanted my usual Brandy and port. I said, “No thanks, don’t fancy it”. Then went to the Ram for the evening and sat drinking coffee and water as just didn’t fancy anything like beer, Gin etc. Then again this lunchtime Abi asked if I would share a bottle of champers with her and I again just didn’t fancy it. There is something drastically wrong I know, but what? Should I go see the GP, or a specialist? Maybe a psychiatrist or Psychologist? Or someone else like the Licence Victualers Association. Or none alcoholics anon? I am worried. Please Help.
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Post by lotusanne on Mar 19, 2013 15:36:18 GMT
OMG - please try and hang on in there Bruce, I can see how worried you must be, keeping having the nice cups of tea and breathing deeply and I am sure Auntie RT will be alomg shortly with some really useful and sensible advice for you !!!
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Post by Pollik on Mar 19, 2013 16:23:48 GMT
Dear God!!! I hope this isn't catching!!
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Post by robmac on Mar 19, 2013 16:57:33 GMT
You're worried Bruce? So is the landlord at the Ram!
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Post by lotusanne on Mar 19, 2013 17:27:28 GMT
Dear God!!! I hope this isn't catching!! I think Pollik may have hit the nail on the head - come to think of it I am sure last time I spoke to auntie RT he was consuming a mug of freshly brewed coffee!
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Post by Firefox on Mar 19, 2013 19:07:20 GMT
Blimey... Abi has a bottle of champers? Tell her to put it on ice, I'll be right over
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Post by donkeytoo on Mar 19, 2013 19:12:57 GMT
Blimey... Abi has a bottle of champers? Tell her to put it on ice, I'll be right over she had a dozen bottles given to her last week.loL
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Post by Dr Latex on Mar 19, 2013 22:15:44 GMT
Dear Donkey.......I bet they don't call you eee-aww for nothing eh? Brandy and Port? Champagne? You should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself young man! In these times of extreme poverty and austere living conditions when many banking friends of mine have to scrape about in the mire just outside cardboard city just to find a crusty old rat to feed their bairns you have been binging to excess on the juices of satan! Well my friend, it seems that your conscience has finally found a way out for you. Follow your instincts to the letter sir and embrace totally this prohibition they present to you. If you refuse, the consequences can be dire.....feelings of euphoria and light-headedness, seeing humour in everything you are supposed to take seriously, laughing till your sides hurt. None of this is normal and will result in you becoming extremely popular, very happy and possibly leading to posting stupid jokes on the internet. May I suggest that you donate all your remaining stocks of Brandy, Port, Champagne etc to a very worthwhile charitable cause? They very cleverly have devised a way to use the filthy firewater as fuel to heat the hovels of the poor. They can then sell on the empties to enable them to buy crisps, fags and new i-pads. It will require no effort on your part as I can call round tomorrow to collect the stuff. Our organisation currently has a project in the St Neots area where one chap in particular, who lives with his family under a picnic bench, can benefit from your generosity..... I can share it with....erm, I mean drop it off to him on my way home.
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Post by lotusanne on Mar 19, 2013 22:34:20 GMT
Wow Dr Latex, you really know your stuff! I hope your advice falls on fertile ground and Donkey2 is inspired to donate his clearly excess and unwanted Devil jiuce to the good causes you kindly suggested!
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Post by robmac on Mar 20, 2013 5:09:48 GMT
Amen brother Latex, Amen.
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