Post by Pollik on May 5, 2013 12:03:56 GMT
Here are some figures of speech that just may end differently than expected.
1. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
2. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
3. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
4. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
5. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
6. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
7. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
8. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
9. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
10. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
11. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
12. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
13. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
14. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
15. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
16. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
17. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
18. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
19. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
20. A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip.
21. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.
22. I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.
33. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
1. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
2. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
3. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
4. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
5. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
6. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
7. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
8. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
9. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
10. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
11. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
12. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
13. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
14. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
15. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
16. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
17. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
18. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
19. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
20. A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip.
21. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.
22. I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.
33. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.