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Post by Mikehanky on Jan 18, 2014 23:00:38 GMT
The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I told her, "Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"
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Post by gaz on Jan 18, 2014 23:09:19 GMT
whats the last thing to go thru a flys mind as it hits the windscreen
its arse
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Post by gaz on Jan 18, 2014 23:15:25 GMT
i ran into the back of a little old mans car at a junction today he got out of his car and shouted loudly... IM NOT HAPPY... so i asked him which one of the dwarfs he was then
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Post by Mikehanky on Jan 18, 2014 23:18:07 GMT
Doctor doctor, is it normal to have one ball bigger than the other two
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Post by gaz on Jan 18, 2014 23:19:00 GMT
annoy metal detector enthusiasts by sticking nuts and bolts in dog shit.
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Post by gaz on Jan 18, 2014 23:23:02 GMT
make london seem like a beautiful city by simply visiting Liverpool.
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Post by Mikehanky on Jan 18, 2014 23:25:44 GMT
Last night I almost had a threesome, I only needed two more people!
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Post by gaz on Jan 18, 2014 23:34:09 GMT
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Post by Mikehanky on Jan 18, 2014 23:39:01 GMT
I"ll get a copie of that film looks good that's if its still about
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Post by Mikehanky on Jan 24, 2014 12:34:00 GMT
my wife say I make love like a bank robber ,I go in hard pop of a couple of rounds and get out quick
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Post by Neva Aglenn on Jan 24, 2014 19:44:54 GMT
my wife say I make love like a bank robber ,I go in hard pop of a couple of rounds and get out quick S'Funny Mike.......She said the same to Me!!
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Post by Mikehanky on Jan 25, 2014 5:52:16 GMT
its you then who keeps warming my bed then
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Post by Mikehanky on Jan 30, 2014 15:46:29 GMT
I was caught doing 100mph in a 30 zone.wen the policeman came to question me he asked why was u doing 100mph in a 30 zone. well I said officer I looked in my rear view mirror and I thought I saw my ex wife sitting beside u in the car the officer said wats that got to do with u speeding.i replied well my ex ran off with a copper and I thought u was brining her back to me:shock:
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Post by Deleted on Feb 1, 2014 22:45:19 GMT
Ed Balls has vowed to reintroduce the fifty pence tax rate for top earners should Labour win the next election.
Well, I must say, I'll sleep better on my park bench tonight knowing that
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Post by gaz on Feb 4, 2014 9:54:47 GMT
seemingly it is wrong of me to say wog now i have to refer to it as a wump of wood
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Post by Deleted on Feb 4, 2014 11:40:54 GMT
I was walking my dog through the park today when a warden came over and said, "There's a £50 fine for dogs who foul the footpath."
"Well that's not going to bother him," I replied, pointing to my dog. "He's never got any money."
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Post by Deleted on Feb 5, 2014 9:10:18 GMT
A Brummie walks into a tailors,"Alroit mate,I'd like a 70's suit please." The tailor says,"Certainly sir,would you like a kipper tie?" The Brummie says,"Thanks mate,two sugars please."
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